What'll it be?asks the bartender.
Replies the man,
Tell me, where could I find a non-alcoholic drink which will get me just as inebriated as that fine scotch just behind you?
Ahh, I don't know, but perhaps you'd like some of that scotch?
No, I don't drink alcohol. Goodbye.
If something about this conversation strikes you as odd, then you are dissimilar to a good number of programmers in at least one way.